Monday, December 6, 2010

"I'm mad at you."

{ Me today, in the mirror. Long winded explanation below... }

The Husband came home the other night & told me a story he had heard on the
 radio of a song writer who was "Doing what she loved & it didn't even appear like work to anyone around her...

He then told me, "I'm mad at you." This shocked me, The Husband never says he is mad at me. 
Puzzled I asked him why... To which he replied, 
"I'm mad at you because that is like you. You are creative, you have dreams of this & 
that which involve your creativity, why aren't you doing anything about it?! 
Why aren't you doing something you love to do?
Just DO it! What is holding you back? What are you afraid of?!"

I smiled & got very giddy as well as a bit sad & frustrated with myself. 
It was amazing to feel so supported but at the same time I felt like a big loser that someone 
(especially my husband) noticed my lack of drive & called me out. 
But that is what loving husbands are for, right? 

So, what has been holding me back are a few things, a few typical things we all worry about..
Like most, I naturally fear failure. I also am my own worst critic. 
Both of which, I realize lead to a rather unhealthy paralysis of doing nothing 
about following my dreams. Hence why The Husband was mad. 
I don't blame him, I'm mad at myself because there really is no excuse 
& what is there to loose? Nothing. 

So I'm proud to say that I took the first step of following my dreams
 that I've been talking about for months, if not years... 
I bought my fancy camera that I've been waiting for. Next up is to teach myself how to use it. 
Then to start taking some hopefully really stellar photographs. Then to open a print shop 
& fingers crossed it will be a fruitful venture. 

Then who knows... 

But I do know one thing, I am excited to find out where taking 
this first step & the subsequent steps to follow lead.

Welcome to the my new journey of sorts. I hope it won't bore you to tag along 
& I also hope that when I ask, you'll be really good & honest critics. 

xoxo

8 comments:

Anna Walker said...

AWESOME! :)
You have a wonderful hubby, and I am glad you are going to follow your dreams! Let us know how it goes!

http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/

Melanie's Randomness said...

Good for you for taking that first step forward. I'm the same way I talk alot about things but I seem to not do it. Thank you for posting this because it also has given me a lil nudge. =) Thank u!

Melanie's Randomness

PoetessWug said...

Good for you, stepping out into a new adventure!...Husbands sometimes are known to light a fire under us...with their words only of course. :-) We don't always listen. But clearly you are attuned!! ^_^

Isabel said...

YAY! Fun! I'm so proud of you!

Jenna Kusma said...

Glad you're starting this. I always thought you were very talented!

Em-Jae said...

Sometimes you need that brutally honest push from someone you really trust...
Congrats! Can't wait to see what's in store for the future :]

Nicole* said...

good luck!!!

what does your tattoo say??

Ashley Lynn Fry said...

Aww thanks for the support everyone, I appreciate it more than you know! :)

@Melanie- glad it gave you a lil' nudge too
@Nicole- My tattoo is The Husband's name. (Which is "Gideon" ... but it is backwards in that photo because the shot was taken in the mirror). I got it shortly after we got married right before he deployed to Iraq.

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